Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
