yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
