im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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