would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
