Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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