She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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