I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
