so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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