I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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