It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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