i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Randomize
