i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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