He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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