last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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