Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I cut my penus on the lid.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
