New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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