youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
this is jacob
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.