I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high