Texts From Last Night

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  (727): View more from Florida

  a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know

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  (727): a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know http://tfl.nu/finx
  Replies (35) Good night (4281) Bad night (812)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth

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  (919): It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth http://tfl.nu/y1ni
  Replies (23) Good night (484) Bad night (5031)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien

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  (205): I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien http://tfl.nu/9idk
  Replies (31) Good night (1009) Bad night (3709)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.

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  (732): he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant. http://tfl.nu/xvk7
  Replies (34) Good night (18066) Bad night (799)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is

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  (662): I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is http://tfl.nu/ce5u
  Replies (16) Good night (5184) Bad night (1842)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".

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  (516): i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed". http://tfl.nu/0nax
  Replies (40) Good night (1095) Bad night (5277)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.

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  (309): I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season. http://tfl.nu/pxkc
  Replies (14) Good night (3535) Bad night (1181)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment

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  (505): so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment http://tfl.nu/9rz9
  Replies (9) Good night (4957) Bad night (1879)
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  (310): View more from California

  Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me

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  (310): Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me http://tfl.nu/0v3x
  Replies (7) Good night (1554) Bad night (905)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning

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  (775): It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning http://tfl.nu/pt0t
  Replies (4) Good night (2355) Bad night (821)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him

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  (216): there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him http://tfl.nu/zgop
  Replies (1) Good night (1194) Bad night (729)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know

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  (585): Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know http://tfl.nu/3xrv
  Replies (4) Good night (415) Bad night (2027)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.

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  (905): This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick. http://tfl.nu/xvkz
  Replies (2) Good night (756) Bad night (232)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.

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  (262): got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table. http://tfl.nu/5l8a
  Replies (2) Good night (553) Bad night (256)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.

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  (904): Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard. http://tfl.nu/afya
  Replies (4) Good night (347) Bad night (468)

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