the new term for farting is butt boxing.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING