i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
kristin has been a bad kristin
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
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OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just want to make out with him forever
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday