He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You were trust falling into bushes
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
