life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
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It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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