I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
