I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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