u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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