He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
