I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
