I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You ate ashes out of my bong
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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