i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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