no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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