Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
we're so committed to being not committed
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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