i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
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You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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