dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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