you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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