Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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