So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
