Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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