I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
