Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize