I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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