So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
