i jhust puked up my retainher.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
wow bdsm is so cute
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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