Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
