The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You ruined the universe
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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