I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
