We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
