I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
