I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
