remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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