i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize