we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
