I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize