You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
