If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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