he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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