from now on my penis is your penis
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It's shark week go big or go home
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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