There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
