WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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