i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
