I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
