been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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