FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
