No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
