why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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