i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
