We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
