I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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