If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
