i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
