Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
