I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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