Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
