Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
