My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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