I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You dont lie about slip and slides
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
