I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
